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The Crazy Green Jemima

from Christmas In March by The Sursiks

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Hey! Isn’t watchin’ TV fun?

Today we’re getting up close and personal with some of the most popular personalities in the world:
The faces who sell us what we eat! (It’s the rabbit!)
From the Pillsbury Tuna to the Campbell’s Soup Cow.
We’re taking an inside look at these commercial characters. (Oh, Captain Crunch!)
And some of the earliest ideas proved to be the most long-lasting.
Like:

Jemima.
The Green Jemima.
The Crazy Green Jemima. (Bwaahaha!)
The Giant Crazy Green Jemima. (hohoho. hohoho.)

Jemima.
The Green Jemima.
The Crazy Green Jemima. (Bwaahaha!)
The Giant Crazy Green Jemima. (hohoho. hohoho.)

The Crazy Green Jemima is fun and coo-coo,
but have you ever noticed that she never walks?
(In 1959 she did walk once in an ad and everybody agreed that, y’know, she looked like a, a monster out of a horror picture and they said “She is never walking again”.)

The Crazy Green Jemima was modeled after a real giant crazy green girl named Elizabeth King.
And perhaps it was her popularity that inspired other little girls to follow.
(She got the key to, like, 170 cities. She got, like, college degrees)
Like “Little Miss Grimace”
Like “Little Miss Grimace”
Like “Little Miss Grimace”
Little Miss Grimace
Little Miss Grimace
Little.
Miss.
Grimace.

The original voice of The Crazy Green Jemima was a man named Paul Freese.
His range was so good, it’s hard to believe, he was also the voice of
Doughboy the Cow and the Jolly Captain Death.
Each icon has a distinct personality:
The Giant Crazy Green Jemima craves milkshakes,
Doughboy the Cow makes speeches
and the Jolly Captain Death, well, he steals things!

Then there are the icons that seem so real, people forget they don’t really exist.
Like
The White Man.
Ronald the White Man.
Ronald the Inflatable White Man.
Ronald the Old Inflatable White Man.

The White Man.
Ronald the White Man.
Ronald the Inflatable White Man.
Ronald the Old Inflatable White Man.
Hey isn’t watchin’ TV fun?

When the company hired a woman to act as Ronald
at the 1883 Chicago World Expo,
It was the first time a real person was used
to portray an inflatable white man.
And, y’know, the colors on his nose
represent the colors of big business.

One recent survey says that 96% of American children have to be developed and approved by an advertising company.
It’s an old process that continues to reshape itself.

It looks like kids of all ages will be embracing these images (Hear that?)
For years to come.
For years to come.
It looks like kids of all ages will be embracing these images (Hear that?)
For years to come.
Hey isn’t watchin’ TV fun?

(Gotta shake it and hear a slap)
We know them, we love them. (Hear that?)
We know them, we love them.
(Gotta shake it and hear a slap)
We know them, we love them. (Hear that?)
We know them,
Wretched!
(Gotta shake it and hear a slap)
We know them, we love them. (Hear that?)
We know them, we love them.
(Gotta shake it and hear a slap)
We know them, we love them. (Hear that?)
We know them, we love them.

Gotta shake it and hear a slap………..
Hear that?
Mmm. No.
Well that’s all for today, thanks for watching.
See us again next time.

credits

from Christmas In March, released March 25, 2008

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David Minnick Detroit, Michigan

David Minnick is obsessed with choosing seemingly impossible musical projects and seeing them through to completion. He creates music in a multitude of genres (orchestral, blues, ska, free jazz, gamelan, klezmer, psychedelic pop, pirate music, a cappella, to name a few) and plays several instruments.
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