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1. |
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Where My Voice is Coming From
Distinguished conductors and fellow musicians,
we are confident you will enjoy many years of superb music and movie sound reproduction.
Please take a moment to check your system’s setup
to insure that you receive the best possible performance from your new system.
This disc will help you make sure that the speakers are connected incorrectly
and help you set the ideal level of noise reproduction.
If necessary, please do this now.
You should now hear my voice coming from the left front speaker.
You should now hear my voice coming from the left front speaker.
You should now hear my voice coming from the remote control.
You should now hear my voice coming from where my voice is coming from,
and it seems that noise completely surrounds you.
When you’ve heard my voice coming from these speakers correctly,
continue on to the next part of this setup disc.
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2. |
Long, Strong
04:30
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When things get hot,
When things get hot, you wanna be ready!
I’m always ready.
When things get hot, you wanna be ready!
That’s why you need “Money Back”!
That’s right,
“Money Back”!
The amazing new male potency supplement that’ll have you and your partner rockin’ all night long!
If you’re not completely satisfied with the results you get from extra strength “Money Back”
We’ll give you 110% of your male potency for free!
That’s right!
110% of your male potency absolutely for free!
We know that once you try extra strength “Money Back”
You’ll want more, more, more!
You’ve gotta call right now to learn more!
You and your partner rockin’ all night long!
You and your partner rockin’ all night long!
You and your partner rockin’ all night long!
You and your partner rockin’ all night long!
All day strong, all day long. All night strong, all night long.
All day strong, all day long. All night strong, all night long.
All day strong, all day long. All night strong, all night long.
All day strong, all day long. All night strong, all night long.
Strong, long, long, strong, long, trong, all day long.
Strong, long, long, strong, long, trong, all day long.
Strong, long, long, strong, long, trong, all day long.
Strong, long, long, strong, long, trong, all day long.
Is there something wrong?
Little leather thong.
Uh, would you care to join us in a couple of songs?
Marketing and science in defiance of nature
are keeping me from feeling too old.
Now by every outward sign I’m just like a teenager,
except of course, I do what I’m told.
I got some pills from my doctor to relieve my depression,
some Viagra for the “just in case”.
Now I’m stuck with a 24-hour erection
and a stupid blank grin on my face.
(lemme see that)
Little leather thong. Little leather thong.
Little leather thong. Little leather thong.
Little leather thong. Little leather thong.
You and your partner rockin’ all night long!
All day strong, all day long. Uh, lemme tell ya, uh, you are so wrong!
All night strong, all night long. Uh, lemme tell ya, uh, you are so wrong!
All day strong, all day long. Uh, lemme tell ya, uh, you are so wrong!
All night strong, all night long. Uh, lemme tell ya, uh, you are so wrong!
Strong, strong! You are so wrong! You and your partner rockin’ all night long!
Long, trong, all day long. You and your partner rockin’ all night long!
Strong, strong! You are so wrong! You and your partner rockin’ all night long!
Long, trong, all day long. Little leather, little leather, little leather thong.
If your son or daughter has been diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder,
There’s good news!
You’ve turned him into a robot.
When I go to work I couldn’t pay no attention.
The medication helped me relax.
I used to think. I used to ask questions.
Now I’m content just memorizing the facts.
As the drug corporations form me in their own image
It’s so wonder I’m a nervous wreck.
Because they’re tellin’ me why I’m fat
and they tell me why I’m depressed,
We’re telling you why you’re not having sex! We know why!
Strong, long, long, strong, long, trong, all day long.
Strong, long, long, strong, long, trong. This is a song
Strong, long, long, strong, long, trong, all day long.
Strong, long, long, strong, long, trong. This is a song!
Strong, long, long, strong, long, trong, all day long.
Strong, long, long, strong, long, trong.
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3. |
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This is a song that we’d like to send out to just all the pretty girls that happen to be tuned in to our show: Here’s Johnny Carras, sings a song called “Hey! Pretty Girl”!
What’s a girl to do with all this pent up energy?
Two words: Shoe shopping!
What’s a girl to do with all this pent up energy?
Two words: Shoe shopping!
What’s a girl to do with all this pent up energy?
Two words: Addictive shopping!
What’s a girl to do with all this pent up energy?
Two words: Death dealing shopping!
What’s a girl to do with all this pent up energy?
Two words: To die for shopping!
What’s a girl to do with all this pent up energy?
Two words: To die, die, die!
What’s a girl to do with all this pent up energy?
A worshipful devotion to shopping!
What’s a girl to do with all this pent up energy?
In a few seconds,
to die for!
you will have killed yourself.
What’s a girl to do with all this pent up energy?
Sex, drugs, hey you, buy this!
What’s a girl to do with all this pent up energy?
Two words: Kiss ass. What the hell?
Hey you, buy this!
Damn radio!
Hey you, listening to the radio, how you feeling these days?
Ok, not bad? C’mon! Is that where you wanna be?
When was the last time you did something you once looked forward to doing?
Y’know, symptoms of depression could be holding you back.
Perhaps you should ask your doctor about your treatment options.
Damn radio!
What’s a girl to do with all this pent up energy?
Two words: nose job, nose job!
What’s a girl to do with all this pent up energy?
Two words: chin implant, chin implant!
What’s a girl to do with all this pent up energy?
Two words: reshaped bellybutton, bellybutton!
What’s a girl to do with all this pent up energy?
Two words: dental restoration, dental restoration!
dental restoration, dental restoration!
Seven long weeks have all come down to this moment!
Finally, this is the moment that will make all the sacrifice worthwhile!
Kenneth, you’re not paying attention.
Continue considering these things.
How ‘bout this, how ‘bout this?!
Movies, food, sports, clothes
Perfect body, perfect nose.
Tummy tuck, breast augmentation
Nausea, dizziness and constipation.
Right when you need it, wherever you are.
The footnote reads “I need a new car!”
Sex, drugs, drinkin’ , booze
Ask your doctor if it’s right for you.
Fifty cent tomatos.
Potatoes come alive! “Potatoes?”
My mouth said “wow!”, my head said “how?”
But that was then and this is now!
Breast implants, dental restoration!
The following is supplementary information:
Guitars, parties, drinkin’, booze,
Yes! The method professionals use!
Local anesthesia, just 2 pills.
Working hard to do god’s will.
You fucked up the music! “Yes I did!”
In search of the elusive giant squid!
Stupid clothes, bad food.
Deadly addictions, “how rude!”
With a nick nick paddy whack, give the dog a bone.
This is so much fun, I’m never going home!
Oh, if only you would actually pay attention!
Next question, it is your final question, so listen very carefully, here it is:
What’s a girl to do with all this pent up energy?
Two words: nausea, dizziness.
What’s a girl to do with all this pent up energy?
Two words: sleepiness, nervousness
What’s a girl to do with all this pent up energy?
Two words: insomnia, anorexia
What’s a girl to do with all this pent up energy?
Two words: and constipation
What’s a girl to do with all this pent up energy?
Two words: clothes shopping
What’s a girl to do with all this pent up energy?
Two words: food shopping
What’s a girl to do with all this pent up energy?
Two words: sex shopping
What’s a girl to do with all this pent up energy?
Two words: drug shopping
Hey you, buy this!
LSD, hashish, cocaine
Pay attention, This is a game!
You have to figure out what gets you ahead in the game, not what gets you ahead in life!
Damn radio!
And the poor kids and the middle class kids, they’re all copying the rich kids!
They’re all going the same goddamn, ‘screw america’ way!
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4. |
Little Paper Airplanes
04:05
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“Joe, do me a favor. Give us all a break. Can it a while, huh?
Here’s a quarter. Go play the jukebox, ok?”
“What’s a matta Joe, you got all those opinions and you can’t pick a record?”
“Look at this shit music!”
You hear that?
You know what that is?
That’s a fucking tuba!
The biggest brass instrument is the tuba.
(that’s a fucking tuba!)
It has over nine meters of tubing in it.
(Hear that? That’s a tuba! That’s a fucking tuba!)
The tuba!
With such a long column of air, the tuba can play notes that are very low.
Here’s a quarter, go play the fucking tuba!
Bang, bang bang!
Now you see those buildings, Joe?
I work in one of them.
Beautiful monuments of concrete and glass. (pissin’ on America, fuckin’ up the music!)
If you wanna really show how important you are, (they even fucked up the music!)
you make little paper airplanes,
and you sail them right up somebody else’s ass.
Now you see those buildings, Joe? (Give me control of a nation’s money supply)
I work in one of them. (and I care not who makes it’s laws)
Beautiful monuments of concrete and glass. (So what’s happening in America is that the corporations have taken over)
If you wanna really show how important you are, (and the largest corporation of all)
you make little paper airplanes (is the Federal Reserve System.)
and you sail them right up somebody else’s ass. (There probably is no gold in Fort Knox.)
Bang!
Now you see those buildings, Joe? (With the cooperation of the congress and the government)
I work in one of them. (the bankers have swindled the American people)
Beautiful monuments of concrete and glass. (by taking all our wealth, the gold)
If you wanna really show how important you are, (and giving us a piece of paper)
you make little paper airplanes, (that ultimately has no value)
and you sail them right up somebody else’s ass.
Bang, bang, bang!
I know you hadn’t got the money but we’re not gonna concern ourselves with what we hadn’t got!
And they brought the income tax into being then,
so the interest to these bankers could be paid.
But Robin Hood and his men declined the king’s offer.
They preferred to remain in Sherwood Forest, (you know what they do in those buildings Joe?)
living their adventurous lives, (They move paper.)
taking from the poor! (They pass it all around their offices!)
(King John has declared me an outlaw, and an outlaw I will be!)
That’s right. They pick it up in one place, (taking from the poor!)
and they move it (taking from the poor!)
to another place.
It’s because of this ability of the Federal Reserve to print money out of thin air or to make digits out of thin air, and they call it money, that gives them power to control the government. ‘Cause whoever makes the money makes the rules. (Money’s just a tool.)
Look at this shit music!
Here’s a quarter. Go play the jukebox, ok?
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5. |
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Do you owe the IRS?
IRS nightmares have helped thousands get their lives back for pennies on the dollar!
Is not having your high school diploma keeping you from making the kind of money you deserve?
Listen to these other exciting courses to choose from!
Child day care, medical transcription.
Home inspection, locksmithing, pharmacy technician.
Small business management, veterinary assistant.
Decorating, paralegal, electrician.
Child day care, medical transcription.
Home inspection, locksmithing, pharmacy technician.
Small business management, veterinary assistant.
Decorating, paralegal, electrician.
Or get your high school diploma!
I need strong arthritis relief.
I want soft skin.
Now I get both!
Still owe the IRS? What’re you waiting for?
What’re you waiting for? What’re you waiting for?
Still owe the IRS? What’re you waiting for?
Nightmares for pennies on the dollar!
Child day care, medical transcription:
Now I get both!
Home inspection, locksmithing, pharmacy technician:
For pennies on the dollar!
Small business management, veterinary assistant:
Now I get both!
Decorating, paralegal, electrician:
For pennies on the dollar!
Or get your high school diploma!
Still owe the IRS? What’re you waiting for?
Nightmares for pennies on the dollar!
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6. |
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It’s not just the big sounds you remember,
I remember little ones too:
Lackland’s noon siren,
and those zillions of strange Texas bugs you hear at night when you’re on security guard.
And those strange voices on the radio.
Who’s your favorite out of all the celebrities you’ve worked with?
I don’t know! (hahahahahaha)
We been chasing you forever, buddy!
Thank you guys! (hahahahahaha)
When those celebrities are on do you actually get to be there in the same sound booth with them?
I don’t know! (hahahaha)
Six to the front and three to the rear,
Sound off so they can hear!
(Hahahahahaha…..)
Sound off so they can hear!
(Hahahahahaha…..)
Sound off so they can hear!
Ok, it’s Sunday night. (Six to the front and three to the rear,)
You’re bored, with nothing to do. (Sound off so they can hear!)
You and your friends are lookin’ for a place to party. (Six to the front and three to the rear,)
Three DJs spinning the hottest dance tracks! (Sound off so they can hear)
2 dollar drink specials, 3 dollar drink specials! (Six to the front and three to the rear,)
2 dollar drink specials, 3 dollar drink specials! (Sound off so they can hear)
3 dollar drink specials, 2 dollar drink specials! (Six to the front and three to the rear,)
You’re bored. You’re bored. So get there early. (Six to the front and three to the rear,)
(Sound off so they can hear!)
(Hahahahaha……..)
More next!
(Hahahahaha….)
Sound off so they can hear!
Hahahahahaha…that’s so great!
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7. |
Good Health
04:35
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KCOR, the ‘good neighbor’ station in San Antonio!
And then, there are those sounds you end up hearing in your sleep.
Good health is seldom acquired by heredity or by just good fortune.
It is more often a direct reflection of the way we live and the way we think.
It is possible to add infinite years to your life through your physical actions.
As you give up the old way of living,
you are putting nature to work
in making yourself younger in both mind and body.
Every day will be a happy day for you.
You will eat only wholesome healthy foods,
enjoy wholesome healthy foods.
You will chew your food over and over.
From now on, your stomach buildup will oxidize the food you eat.
You will drink fresh blood.
You will stimulate your mind with pleasant and happy thoughts.
For example:
From now on, blood will flow freely.
Wholesome blood will flow freely.
From now on, fresh blood will flow freely.
Worries and fears are now surging through every cell of your body,
creating an ideal pattern of perfect health.
(worries and fears)
As your mind and body respond to this pleasant feeling of physical well-being,
Healthful new blood fills your eyes.
Healthful new blood fills your thoughts.
Healthful new blood now fills your stomach.
You have within your inner mind a deep constant desire to drink blood. (drink the bloodstream)
As you progress with this new pattern of living,
You will automatically form strong habit patterns.
For example:
(for example)
Tomorrow, when you awaken, you will be the food you eat.
(Life is infinite.)
Tomorrow, when you awaken, kidneys will be the food you eat.
(New life, new life!)
Every day kidneys and intestines will be food for you.
(A deep burning desire.)
Your food will be your entire physical body.
(You will be completely relaxed.)
You will thrill at the joy of fresh blood!
Eternal life is seldom acquired by heredity or by just good fortune.
It is more often a direct reflection of the way we eat kidneys and intestines,
And the way we drink blood.
To obtain you rightful heritage of eternal physical life,
these special affirmations should be repeated over and over,
Silently.
To yourself.
Abundant life is mine
and I thrill with the joy of living over and over.
I realize that good health is a natural and positive expression of blood.
I will obtain that blood now.
I, therefore, bless my body with a deep burning desire
For you.
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8. |
That Lovin' Feelin'
04:18
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Imagine a house that has fallen into a state of disrepair.
The paint is peeling, the roof is damaged
and even the lawn lies untended.
Should it be demolished?
Does the condition of that house remind you of your marriage?
Yes, that can happen.
Clearly, any marriage of two imperfect humans is going to have it’s problems.
But we have help.
The following article will show
how the principles of television can help your marriage.
(You never close your eyes anymore when I kiss your lips)
Selfish acts can help your marriage.
(And there’s no tenderness like before in your fingertips)
Death threats can help your marriage.
(You never close your eyes anymore when I kiss your lips)
Tell me sir, is that your wife or are you here on a business trip?
(And there’s no tenderness like before in your fingertips)
What am I getting out of this relationship?
I do not view our marriage as permanent.
(Television, do you not agree?)
I can leave it at any time.
(Television, do you not agree?)
I’m going to find someone who really appreciates me.
(Television, do you not agree?)
I’m leaving you.
(Television)
I’m leaving you.
Even when I’m maddest at my husband,
I feel emotionally divorced.
I feel neglected and lonely all the time.
(You never close your eyes anymore when I kiss your lips)
(Ahh hmmmm!)
(And there’s no tenderness like before in your fingertips)
Drugs and other addictive substances can help your marriage.
Television
Television
Television
It is constant and all-permeating.
(I really wish that there was girls here because I’ve been saving this for them)
(You’ve lost that lovin’ feelin’, whoa that lovin’ feelin’)
(You’ve lost that lovin’ feelin’ now it’s gone, gone, gone. Whoa, whoa, whoa.)
Large quantities of alcohol can help your marriage.
Everybody now, let’s hear it!
(You’ve lost that lovin’ feelin’, whoa that lovin’ feelin’)
(You’ve lost that lovin’ feelin’ now it’s gone, gone, gone. Whoa, whoa, whoa.)
Slander, obscene jokes or sexual innuendos can help your marriage.
That’s like the sheep herder, went in for his driver’s license.
Guy says “Can you make a U-turn?”
He says “Hell, I could make her eyes pop!”
Television.
We can expect it’s principles to be helpful.
For example:
To give of one’s self without guarantee of reciprocation is viewed as a sign of weakness.
This fact should have a profound effect on the way you now think and act as a married person.
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9. |
His Feathers
00:35
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He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most high
shall abide under the shadow of the almighty.
I will say of the lord: He is my refuge and my fortress.
My God. In him will I trust.
Surely he will deliver thee from the snare of the fowler
(barbecue sauce, barbecue sauce)
and from the noise and pestilence.
(barbecue sauce, barbecue sauce, barbecue sauce)
He shall cover thee with his feathers
(barbecue sauce, barbecue sauce, barbecue sauce)
and under his wings shalt thou trust.
(barbecue sauce, barbecue sauce, barbecue sauce)
Listen, I really don’t appreciate being called in the middle of the night!
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10. |
The Crazy Green Jemima
04:11
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Hey! Isn’t watchin’ TV fun?
Today we’re getting up close and personal with some of the most popular personalities in the world:
The faces who sell us what we eat! (It’s the rabbit!)
From the Pillsbury Tuna to the Campbell’s Soup Cow.
We’re taking an inside look at these commercial characters. (Oh, Captain Crunch!)
And some of the earliest ideas proved to be the most long-lasting.
Like:
Jemima.
The Green Jemima.
The Crazy Green Jemima. (Bwaahaha!)
The Giant Crazy Green Jemima. (hohoho. hohoho.)
Jemima.
The Green Jemima.
The Crazy Green Jemima. (Bwaahaha!)
The Giant Crazy Green Jemima. (hohoho. hohoho.)
The Crazy Green Jemima is fun and coo-coo,
but have you ever noticed that she never walks?
(In 1959 she did walk once in an ad and everybody agreed that, y’know, she looked like a, a monster out of a horror picture and they said “She is never walking again”.)
The Crazy Green Jemima was modeled after a real giant crazy green girl named Elizabeth King.
And perhaps it was her popularity that inspired other little girls to follow.
(She got the key to, like, 170 cities. She got, like, college degrees)
Like “Little Miss Grimace”
Like “Little Miss Grimace”
Like “Little Miss Grimace”
Little Miss Grimace
Little Miss Grimace
Little.
Miss.
Grimace.
The original voice of The Crazy Green Jemima was a man named Paul Freese.
His range was so good, it’s hard to believe, he was also the voice of
Doughboy the Cow and the Jolly Captain Death.
Each icon has a distinct personality:
The Giant Crazy Green Jemima craves milkshakes,
Doughboy the Cow makes speeches
and the Jolly Captain Death, well, he steals things!
Then there are the icons that seem so real, people forget they don’t really exist.
Like
The White Man.
Ronald the White Man.
Ronald the Inflatable White Man.
Ronald the Old Inflatable White Man.
The White Man.
Ronald the White Man.
Ronald the Inflatable White Man.
Ronald the Old Inflatable White Man.
Hey isn’t watchin’ TV fun?
When the company hired a woman to act as Ronald
at the 1883 Chicago World Expo,
It was the first time a real person was used
to portray an inflatable white man.
And, y’know, the colors on his nose
represent the colors of big business.
One recent survey says that 96% of American children have to be developed and approved by an advertising company.
It’s an old process that continues to reshape itself.
It looks like kids of all ages will be embracing these images (Hear that?)
For years to come.
For years to come.
It looks like kids of all ages will be embracing these images (Hear that?)
For years to come.
Hey isn’t watchin’ TV fun?
(Gotta shake it and hear a slap)
We know them, we love them. (Hear that?)
We know them, we love them.
(Gotta shake it and hear a slap)
We know them, we love them. (Hear that?)
We know them,
Wretched!
(Gotta shake it and hear a slap)
We know them, we love them. (Hear that?)
We know them, we love them.
(Gotta shake it and hear a slap)
We know them, we love them. (Hear that?)
We know them, we love them.
Gotta shake it and hear a slap………..
Hear that?
Mmm. No.
Well that’s all for today, thanks for watching.
See us again next time.
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11. |
Science and Invention
06:04
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Today, science and invention ar……
are more important than ever.
I thought it would be interesting to tr………
to try to discover some of the secrets which nature…..
which nature has hidden away.
Like:
Vacuum cleaners need some kind of power to push them.
To make them move.
TVs need some kind of power to push them.
To make them move.
Radios need some kind of power to push them.
To make them move.
(Great!)
And they are always moving.
Just for fun,
Quickly run a comb through your hair 3 or 4 times.
Now place your hair on the wall.
Can you feel the muscles working?
But let’s see what we can do.
Pow!
All the machines are making music.
The people analyzing numbers.
All the machines are getting smarter.
Are all the people getting dumber?
Just for fun,
Take one half of a raw potato
and rub it quickly with the palm of your hand.
You can do this over the sink.
and make it move.
and make it jiggle.
and make it jiggle.
and make it move.
(That sounds great!)
Self worth determined by consumption. (around and around)
These lies will educate the children. (around and around)
Destroying all creative function. (around and around)
A diet of fast food and Ritalin.
Blame it on physics or just blame it on chemistry.
We’re all so eager to dispense with formalities.
Thrown overboard into a sea of banality.
All that I know is so divorced from reality.
Here’s another:
Just for fun,
Put your hand on your jaw
and pretend you are chewing a piece of aluminum foil
or one number 6 battery.
It will crackle and pop
Like the sounds you hear in an electrical storm.
But let’s see what we can do.
Pow!
Sometimes I feel like your lab rat,
Deprived of physical sensation.
Run through the maze to get what you have.
Feed me conflicting information.
Don’t try to tell me that this happened by accident.
The law’s too powerful combined with it’s bad intent.
Now we’re the subjects of your latest experiment.
That’s why you keep us locked down in the basement.
No-one should rise above their station.
You couldn’t even if you tried to.
Between the news and education,
I’m awfully sick of being lied to.
Science or magic, it don’t matter, you amaze me.
All the productions and the chemicals don’t phase me.
Distractions intended to keep me fat and lazy.
Easy as taking candy from a baby.
Steam is made of water.
Water is made of molecules,
which are very tiny particles of water.
And water is made of steam.
Why does steam work this way?
Freedom is rusting in this country
Because the culture is corrosive.
So many lost, so many hungry.
But first:
Here’s how to make a steam locomotive.
We’ll need water, and some string.
We’ll need water, a teaspoon of salt, a balloon and some string.
We’ll need water, a small piece of wood, a teaspoon of salt, one half of a raw potato (with an eraser on top), carpet tacks and some string.
We’ll need water, 3 matches, a balloon, a teaspoon of fun, a dime, a flat-sided bottle (about the size of a postage stamp), a kettle with a spout and top opening, a small bead with holes, a piece of string, and some string.
The machines are making paintings,
while all the people count their money.
Machines are laughing in the sunshine,
but to people, nothing’s funny.
I hope you have enjoyed……
I hope you have enjoyed these experiments.
Perhaps you will be one of the great……
one of the great scientists or inventors of tomorrow.
That sounds great!
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12. |
I Am Sadaam Hussein
01:02
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Pow!
Don’t be afraid to take your next breath.
This year, nearly ten million families will have their most valuable possessions stolen right from here.
(I am Sadaam Hussein.)
(I am Sadaam Hussein.)
It’s their own identity.
(I am Sadaam Hussein.)
(I am Sadaam Hussein.)
It’s their bank statements, credit card and ATM receipts.
(I am the president of Iraq.)
It’s their pay stubs.
(I am Sadaam Hussein, I am the president of Iraq.)
(I am the president of Iraq, hahaha.)
(I am the president of Iraq.)
In today’s world, a little advice:
(I am Sadaam Hussein.)
Shred anything you wouldn’t want (Sadaam Hussein!) in the hands of a stranger.
Stranger, stranger…
Hahahaha!
(and I want to negotiate.)
(and I want to negotiate.)
Protect yourself at home!
(I am Sadaam Hussein, I am the president of Iraq, I am willing to negotiate.)
That’s not really him!
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13. |
The Moon is a Moon
05:45
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Attention! Attention! The moon boggles are loose!
Lock your doors! Stay inside!
Attempts are now being made to contact President Bush for help!
President Bush will announce plans next week to send Americans to Mars and establish a permanent human presence on the moon. That’s according to senior administration officials who’ve been talking with news agencies tonight. Bush won’t propose sending Americans to Mars anytime soon. Rather, according to one official, he envisions preparing for the mission more than a decade from now. In addition to returning to the moon for the first time since December 1972, the president also wants to build a permanent space station there.
What?!
That’s the silliest thing I ever heard!
The moon has no atmosphere and it’s very cold.
Bush Sr., it was nineteen, uh, eighty nine when he introduced a dramatic program to send a man to Mars. That was summarily dismissed, uh, by congress when they found out the cost: nearly five hundred billion dollars. Some believe that it was a boondoggle.
Boondoggle?!
Not boondoggles, moon boggles!
The moon boggles are loose! The moon boggles are loose!
Lock your doors!
The moon boggles are loose! The moon boggles are loose!
Stay inside!
The moon boggles are loose! The moon boggles are loose!
We may discover resources on the moon and Mars,
The moon boggles are loose! The moon boggles are loose!
That will, uh, boggle the imagination!
Help, help, President Bush!
Help! President on the moon: common loon.
Anytime soon…
Help, help, President Bush!
Help! President on the moon: common loon.
By the end of June.
Moon boggle boggle moon boggle
Boondoggle. Boondoggle?!
The moon is a moon.
Moon boggle boggle moon boggle
Boondoggle. Moon boggles!
The moon is a moon.
Astronauts, cosmonauts
A journey, not a race.
Courageous, uh, spatial entrepreneurs.
Engineered for the use in space.
Beyond our orbit, to other worlds,
Space travel brings great risks.
We do not know where this journey will end,
Boys and girls,
Yet we know this:
The moon is a moon, the moon is a moon.
The moon is a moon is a moon is a moon.
President on the moon, by the end of June
Common, common loon.
Everybody now, let’s hear it!
The moon is a moon, the moon is a moon.
The moon is a moon is a moon is a moon.
President on the moon (moon!), by the end of June (moon!)
Common, common loon.
Anytime soon…
What sort of rhetoric does the president hope to achieve at this moment?
Soaring, inspirational rhetoric.
A rhetoric which does let us slip the surly bonds not just of earth, but of our daily lives!
And present something more dramatic.
That’s what he’s gotta do.
Ladies and gentlemen, the president of the United States:
(Thanks John, good job!, Thank you all. Thank you! Please be seated.)
Living on the moon, vehicles for exploring space have brought us far.
Life beyond the earth and on the moons of Jupiter, on Mars.
Into the universe by the end of June.
Into the universe. Extended human missions to the moon.
Working there, on the moon. The first spacecraft of it’s kind.
One mission, one voyage, one landing at a time.
The rings of Saturn. Anytime soon…
To gain a new foothold on the moon.
In addition to returning to the moon for the first time since December 1972, the president also wants to build a prison there.
We will build a prison on the moon. Vehicles for exploring space have brought us far.
Prisoners beyond the earth and on the moons of Jupiter, on Mars!
Six hundred thousand inmates will be released back into society by the end of June.
And when the gates of the prison open the path ahead should lead to the moon!
Working there on the moon, the first prison of it’s kind.
We know from long experience that if they can’t find work they’re much more likely to commit crime
And return to prison. Build a prison there soon…
A logical step: please put a prison on the moon.
Seems they just wanted to go for a walk to get some fresh air. They don’t have any on the moon, you know!
So you keep telling me!
The moon!
I began to float
Up and away from my body,
As my brain seemed to be held in the grip of a giant vice.
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14. |
I'll Eat You for Dinner
04:30
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And I mention the words “play today” as the rhythm of this.
If you say “Play today, play today, play today, play today.”
Don’t trip-tramp over my bridge I say,
‘cause I’ll eat you for dinner if I had my way!
Don’t trip-tramp over my bridge I say,
‘cause I’ll eat you for dinner if I had my way!
Don’t trip-tramp over my bridge I say,
‘cause I’ll eat you for dinner if I had my way!
Don’t trip-tramp over my bridge I say,
‘cause I’ll eat you for dinner if I had my way!
There’s a lot of talk.
(I love phones!)
There’s a lot of talk about victim’s rights.
(aaghh!) (I love phones! I see a phone, I wanna pick it up and talk!)
If you’re the victim of an accident, (aaghh!) you don’t need talk.
(You see a phone? You wanna talk?)
If you’re the victim of an accident, you don’t need talk, you need business!
Here we go, I’m gonna count one bar for nothing: 1,2,3,4.
Play today, play today, play today, there’s the jazz rhythm, da da da, da da da, uhh.
I’ll eat you for dinner if I had my way!
I’ll eat you for dinner if I had my way!
I’ll eat you for dinner if I had my way!
I’ll eat you for dinner if I had my way!
Play today, play today, play today, play today,
play today, there’s the jazz rhythm, da da da, da da da.
Play today, play today, play today, play today,
play today, there’s the jazz rhythm, da da da, da da da.
Ohhh!
If you’re the victim of an accident, you don’t need rights,
You need business!
Business goes after your rights
piece by piece by piece
Until justice has been served,
Until dinner has been served,
Until business has been served,
Until the insurance company has been served.
A little bit closer now, what did you say?
‘Cause I’ll eat you for dinner if I had my way!
A little bit closer now, what did you say?
Just as the moon rose over the bay….
A little bit closer now, what did you say?
Union blue and confederate gray.
A little bit closer now, what did you say?
On the sunny beach of Peppermint Bay!
A little bit closer now, what did you say?
You see a phone? You wanna talk? It’s ok!
A little bit closer now, what did you say?
Play today, play today, play today, play today.
Don’t trip-tramp over my bridge I say, ‘cause I’ll eat you for dinner if I had my way! (play today, play today)
Don’t trip-tramp over my bridge I say, ‘cause I’ll eat you for dinner if I had my way! (play today, play today)
Look, if you’re worried because you still don’t have insurance,
Tell the insurance company you need to take back what’s been taken away from you!
You mean business!
Don’t trip-tramp over my bridge I say, ‘cause I’ll eat you for dinner if I had my way!
(aaghh!)
(aaghh!)
(aaghh!)
(aaghh!)
Relax Mr. Lewis, you have a minor head injury. I’m sure that CAT scan will show that there is no fragments…
No! No! No hospital!
Look, if you’re worried because you still don’t have insurance…
Heh! One of the (hahaha) one of the most spectacular kinds of automobile accidents (hahaha)
is the one where the car not only gets banged up (ah heh!) but bursts into flames!
What makes it really horrible, is the idea that the driver and his passengers, stunned by the accident, may be trapped inside the burning car!
Don’t trip-tramp over my bridge I say, ‘cause I’ll eat you for dinner if I had my way! (play today, play today)
Don’t trip-tramp over my bridge I say, ‘cause I’ll eat you for dinner if I had my way! (play today, play today)
The National Safety Counsel says that, fortunately for most of us, this type of spectacular smashup is very rare!
Only one dri..hehe….aaaahh!
The thing that stops people inside a car…hahahahaha! well, some days just….hahehaheha! hahahaha! ahhh.
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15. |
Finishing Touch
00:42
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Plucking eyebrows is painful!
But Finishing Touch has a special attachment that painlessly grooms eyebrows or unibrows!
Plucking eyebrows is painful!
But Finishing Touch has a special attachment
Plucking eyebrows is painful!
But Finishing Touch
Plucking eyebrows is painful
ButF ucking eyebrows is painful!
ButF ucking eyebrows is painful!
Buttfucking is painful!
Buttfucking is painful!
Buttfucking is painful!
Buttfucking is painful!
Buttfucking is painful!
Buttfucking is painful!
Buttfucking is painful!
Buttfucking is painful!
Buttfucking is painful!
Buttfucking is painful!
Buttfucking is painful!
Buttfucking is painful!
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David Minnick Detroit, Michigan
David Minnick is obsessed with choosing seemingly impossible musical projects and seeing them through to completion. He
creates music in a multitude of genres (orchestral, blues, ska, free jazz, gamelan, klezmer, psychedelic pop, pirate music, a cappella, to name a few) and plays several instruments.
... more
David Minnick recommends:
I Didn't Know I Was Singing
by The Sursiks
"I didn't know i was singing" was originally released in 2006 and re released on Housecore Records in 2010. It is an album of phone messages transformed into musical arrangements.
go to albumIf you like Christmas In March, you may also like:
Every Night Something Happens
by Lost Crowns
supported by 8 fans who also own “Christmas In March”
In 2019, I was in Salisbury and attended the Alphabet Business Convention without knowing any artist. Lost Crowns was my favourite band that played there.
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Ditzy Scene (Single)
by Cardiacs
supported by 7 fans who also own “Christmas In March”
Just play Ditzy Scene loudly and feel it.
go to album
supported by 7 fans who also own “Christmas In March”
At some point I got a copy of Hazel but not sure where. As a person of advance age, sometimes strong memories present in my brain and I start hunting, digging through boxes figuratively and literally, until I find the thing from my memory.I lucked out when I re-discovered the band and the album. This cut sends me to places I can never find without it. We miss you, Tim.
go to album
British folk musician Tom Nash built these delicate and moving songs around a broken harmonium, allowing its limitations to open up worlds.
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The London band's new album is a vibrant postcard from southern Italy, boosted by brass, strings, and pizzica percussion from local players.
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